Dating Someone with Herpes: Expectations vs. Reality
What’s it like dating someone with herpes?
One of the biggest fears after you’re diagnosed with herpes is often related to dating and s-x. The stigma leads people to make a LOT of assumptions about dating people with herpes, let’s break down the expectation vs reality:
People think…
❌ lots of anxiety
❌using barriers 24/7
❌”guaranteed to test positive at some point”
❌navigating outbreaks every time you want to have sex
❌very little room for pleasure
The reality is that partners with herpes encourage…
✔️self-education around herpes and its stigma
✔️communication about desires and fantasies
✔️mutual discussion of sexual health status
✔️re-evaluating sexual boundaries (both herpes and non-herpes related)
✔️open dialogue around potential outbreaks
Partners living with herpes and/or those with experience with other STIs can teach us a lot about stigma and what might be missing in our own sexual communication and boundary practices.
What’s something you’ve learned from a partner living with herpes? Or your own diagnosis?!