Recognizing Signs of Abuse in Relationships Involving Herpes
I recently shared my commentary on the potential for abuse within relationships where at least one partner has herpes.
If that post resonated with you, or if you’re seeking for more examples and education, I created a few points for further consideration.
A relationship might center herpes and further indicate subtle abuse if...
1. Your partner regularly (daily, weekly, etc.) inquires about the presence of symptomatic outbreaks
2. Your partner monitors and/or requires your antiviral use
3. Your partner inspects your body (specifically looking for outbreaks)
4. You feel like your partner cares more about the potential of herpes transmission than you
5. Herpes is the most common discussion between you
While we often consider partners in these roles, especially with sex involved, these may also be applicable to familial or friend relationships—especially upon disclosure. For example, refusing to use a toilet after you’ve used the restroom (🙄) or avoiding physical touch may be other indicators where abuse, shame, and stigma align.
The stigma of herpes often makes it difficult, especially upon diagnosis, for folks to realize that they ARE still valid, worthy, and capable of the love and sex that they desire and deserve. This may also make it more likely for them to accept these actions as a way of life and stipulation of the virus.