Navigating Uncertainty After a Herpes Disclosure: Practicing Self-Care and Understanding
People with herpes can often mistake uncertainty or a potential partner’s processing time as immediate rejection. And let’s be real, uncertainty can hurt just as much, if not more, sometimes. It’s easy for self-doubt to fill the mind. But this is just as much of an opportunity to see how individuals confront stigma, and even add to their experience of unlearning.
If someone discloses a positive herpes status to you, it can be unexpected given what most have been taught. Feelings of denial, uncertainty, and shock are normal—similar to many diagnosis stories.
There are ways to be honest in one’s experience of uncertainty without blaming or shaming. There is a level of self-awareness that comes with saying, “I actually don’t know enough to make an informed decision in this moment. Can I get back to you?”
Sometimes there is a desire for acceptance, often a hope for an immediate acceptance of one’s herpes status; that this waiting period can feel personal.
Sure, this intermittent uncertainty might lead to an eventual rejection, but sometimes, it might lead to acceptance.
If you’ve been in this situation, how do you practice self-care during these times?