How To Respond When Someone Says They Have Herpes
When someone discloses their positive herpes status to you, it might not be what you expected to hear. So what do you do?! I’ve listed a few common reactions (the Don’ts) and advice for what you can do instead (Do’s).
DO: share your status and screening history
DON’T: panic
DO: listen and ask about safer sex options with one another
DON’T: assume, blame, or shame
DO: ask for resources
DON’T: ask how they got herpes (unless they share that with you)
DO: self-reflect on beliefs and knowledge of STIs
DON’T: ghost them
These conversations can feel abrupt and perhaps even shocking. Most of us were taught that STIs were rare and something to be avoided. So when we are faced with someone who is so honest and aware and breaks these stereotypes and expectations, it can create a deep moment of pause and even uncertainty. It does not necessarily equate to rejection, but is akin to a sex ed soul search.