Navigating Disclosure: Confronting STI Stigma and Sex Education Gaps
Disclosing a positive STI status to a potential partner can be intimidating for a variety of reasons, many of which can be chalked up to stigma. These conversations shouldn’t be difficult, but there is often an under-discussed duality of disclosure that confronts those with a positive diagnosis.
Many of us did not grow up learning how to communicate effectively about sex, pleasure, and our bodies with our partners. Part of our biology being what STIs we may have, or have/have not been tested for along the way. We aren’t taught the nuances of STIs like herpes and are instead infiltrated with ideologies of stigma.
We’re taught “avoid avoid avoid” until one day, we can no longer fly by the seat of invincibility. Those diagnosed with an STI like herpes often do a deep-dive into research following the diagnosis. They learn about antivirals, disclosure, transmission, and effective communication strategies with partners. Maybe this is you now.
The unlearning of stigma that comes along with a positive herpes diagnosis often leads to safer sex practices (no research article to cite here, just a general opinion from experiences I’ve seen). The CDC disagrees, per reasoning for their lack of testing mandates.
When disclosing to potential partners, it’s not just the “I have an STI” part of the conversation that’s difficult. It’s the confrontation of someone who likely has never been taught to have these conversations, or that these conversations even exist. Or most often, that they’d find themselves in this position.
Disclosure, which should always be a mutual discussion, is not a confrontation of STI stigma, it’s the realization of poor sex education teachings, admittance of lack of knowledge—even about oneself, and potential reluctance to learn the truths.