Breaking the Cycle: Understanding STI Transmission, Stigma, and Society's Perceptions
Popular culture frames STIs as “bad.” If you contract one (which is more likely than not if you are sexually active), you’re seen as “bad” by association. If the STI passes from you to a partner, this idea of “bad” shifts to one of fault.
An STI can occur even if both partners do everything “right.” You’ve been tested, shared your results, used barriers, if you or your partner have herpes maybe you even used antivirals, too.
Most (read it again, MOST) people do not pass on an STI with malicious intent. Many are due to a lack of knowing. There may also be transmissions due to non-disclosure, which add further layers of complexity and questioning. While I do not condone withholding one’s STI status, I empathize with the feelings that lead to nondisclosure. These likely stem from feelings of shame rather than intentional harm.
Even in sexual partnerships where one’s herpes status is discussed and partners are made aware of and understand the potential outcomes, there is still a sense of guilt that arises if they one day receive a positive a result.
This sense of guilt is further connected to society’s beliefs about being “bad” or “dirty.” While herpes can be annoying at times, it’s the stigma that is responsible for the guilt. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, in these situations, you are not a risk to be taken—you are an informed decision.
I think it is important to discuss how society perceives and displays transmission because often we only absorb and talk about how to avoid it. While we can empower ourselves with statistics, the reality is that transmission still occurs.
There is very little discourse that normalizes herpes diagnoses in monogamous relationships or what happens if a partner tests positive for herpes when they know one’s status, which is why I think it feeds stigma and leads back to those initial feelings of isolation. Stigma is a cycle.