Communication in Casual Relationships: Why It Matters
bUt We’Re JuSt KeEpInG iT cAsUaL~
Keeping things casual isn’t an excuse to slack on communication about what matters to your connection. IDC if it’s a one-night thing, a hook-up-a-few-times thing, or a fuck buddy thing. You have to communicate with one another.
I also see “casual” as a sort of spectrum. For some, casual might mean more friends with benefits where you can hang and chill outside of the sexual encounters, whereas for others “casual” is more whenever I feel like seeing you, if it happens it happens.
None of these are “wrong” per se, but if you’re not communicating about your definitions, expectations, and needs, you’ll both likely end up either A) disappointed, B) overwhelmed, or C) all of the above.
Talk to your partners about what you want and where you are in the connection. Talk about turn ons and turnoffs. Get regular STI screenings if you’re engaging with multiple partners. Know that herpes testing isn’t included in that. Set the expectation of sharing your STI status with your partners. Make it a boundary. Make space to talk about things that matter, even if it gets awkward. Don’t assume your partners’ needs or desires if they haven’t communicated them.
And, perhaps most importantly, don’t be afraid to walk away from the connection if your partner isn’t willing to communicate, understand your perspectives, or invest in a way that makes sense for you. Just because you’re engaging casually with someone, doesn’t mean that you remove respect from the equation.