When to Share Your Herpes Status: Navigating Disclosure with Confidence

When is the “right” time to share your herpes status?

Well, it’s a simple answer in theory, but our brains like to complicate it.

Most of us realize that we need to tell our partners at some point, but is there one right answer for everyone’s situation?

◾️ Don’t feel like you need to tell them on the first date.
There’s no “perfect” or expected number of dates you need to go on before you tell your partner that you have herpes. Some people feel more at ease sharing upfront, while others prefer to wait and see how things progress.

◾️Find a space that makes YOU feel safe.
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to share your herpes or STI status in-person. Sometimes, it’s easier to share via text or app because you can link your go-to resources right there.

◾️Have “the talk” before things get spicy 🌶️
We all know things can become heated quickly - especially if you’ve been vibing or feel chemistry with this partner. Ideally, the conversation happens before your clothes come off.

◾️Stop looking for exceptions when it comes to disclosure
If we want a world without herpes and STI stigma, we need to build it together. Someone recently asked about sexual activities where you don’t need to disclose your status.

Ultimately, we need to create a dating world where these conversations don’t feel awkward and embarrassing, and instead are seen as empowering and normal.

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4 Signs It's Time to Add Sexual Health to Your Self-Care Routine

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Why Criminalizing STIs is a Bad Idea