Rebuilding Your Confidence Post-Herpes
Rebuilding your confidence to date after herpes is more than just practicing disclosure. Let’s work through an example case together.
Mia is 23 years old and found out she has herpes about a year ago. She is currently single and has no idea who she got it from. She has a strong community and told her mom and a couple of close friends.
After her diagnosis, Mia wasn’t very interested in dating. She spent most of her free time trying to 1) teach herself about herpes so she could better educate potential dating partners, and 2) figure out how this could even happen to her.
As Mia started learning more, she felt more in control of her story and her future. Thats when she started to feel the foundation of her confidence return. Mia decides she’s ready to at least see what the dating pool is like.
Mia is a bi white cis woman. She is on several dating apps and isn’t looking for anything serious. Mia decides to try digital disclosures first.
She adds GHSV1 to her profile and tells potential dates immediately after matching.
Mia’s experience is that women are more understanding and either ask questions or kindly part ways, and that men either immediately ghost or reject her.
Mia isn’t happy with these results. Mia shifts her approach and starts preparing to share with dates IRL. “Maybe they’ll be more compassionate,” she tells herself.
“You’ll find someone, but it’s not me.”
“Sorry, I can’t do this.”
“Know that you’re worthy of love but this isn’t something I can handle.”
The same old singsong of rejection.
Like Mia, no matter how much prep work you’ve done, or how many statistics you’ve memorized, or how hard you’ve practiced, your potential partners may still reject you because you have HSV.
You know why this happens, a lot of the time. Poor education, misinformation, and stigma. But it doesn’t make the rejection hurt any less. Accumulated rejections like Mia is experiencing can feel defeating.
That’s why having confidence in your disclosure prompt is one thing, but having confidence in yourself is another.
Does Mia sound like you? Or someone you know? Be sure to save and share this post with someone who might need to hear it 🫶🏻