5 Reasons to Consider Dating Someone with Herpes
Here’s why you should date someone with herpes.
1. You’ve probably already dated someone with herpes. They either didn’t know their status, didn’t share their status with you, or didn’t feel an obligation to disclose. 92% of those with herpes don’t know they have it (Thomas, Ditchman, & Biddle, 2020). Herpes is also the second most common STI in the US (CDC, 2021). Many people think of worst-case photos when it comes to herpes, but that simply isn’t true. Many folks are asymptomatic or have outbreaks that mirror other conditions.
2. You probably don’t know your herpes status. When we look at the CDC screening guidelines (which do not recommend testing without symptoms), this is unsurprising.
3. If you have cold sores, you have herpes, too. Yes, that means you need to share your status with your partners. Oral herpes and genital herpes have more in common than they do differences. People with oral HSV tend to find a way “out” of the “awkward” disclosure conversation. Which is ultimately a product of stigma.
4. You’re less likely to get herpes from a partner who knows their status. A 2006 study by Wald et al. found that knowledge of a partner’s HSV-2 status halves the rate of transmission.
5. People with herpes know how to communicate effectively and honestly. Being diagnosed with an STI, especially herpes, lends itself to revealing fallacies in our society and upbringing when it comes to sex ed. Being able to communicate effectively and openly about the “hard” stuff lends itself to other relational conversations, like “What are we?” or “What do you want in bed?”
Society has enough negative things to say about people with herpes and lists of reasons why NOT to date them. When, statistically, we all know someone who has or will have it at some point during their life.