Challenging Stigmatizing Language About Herpes: Why Words Matter
“It’s just a cold sore” or “It’s the better kind of herpes.” Comparing the placement of someone's infection (in this case, oral or genital), or even using cold sores" in place of "herpes" or "HSV-1" is an attempt to soften the diagnosis and remove oneself from what it means to have herpes (aka stigma).
“Don’t worry, it goes away.” Similar to telling someone to “calm down," "don't worry" isn't helpful. Additionally, it implies that there is something to worry about if someone is diagnosed with a lifelong infection (which is stigmatizing).
“It could be worse.” While many people find power in fate, optimism, and "everything happens for a reason," for others it instills added doubt in their journey and circumstances. Generally, I find it difficult to compare infections (virus, diseases, etc.) to one another, especially without knowing the story of those whose bodies they inhabit.
“At least it’s not lifelong” and “It’s not like it’s incurable.” These phrases suggest that there is something inherently wrong with those who have a lifelong STI.
“You’re not the type to have an STI.” There is no “look” of a person who has an STI. Similarly, looking at their genitals won’t get you the answer you’re looking for, either. This statement also suggests that there may be further stereotypes held about people who engage in sex with multiple partners or those who have more frequent sex.
The language we use matters, and it's often so entrenched in our culture that we're unaware of their meaning and power. Even little quantifiers discussed here (just, at least, don’t worry) can make the difference in someone considering you as a brave and/or safe space.