3 Ways to Flip Your Mindset When It Comes to Herpes Rejections
How to overcome fear of rejection is a common question I receive from students. Here are 3 ways to flip your mindset about herpes rejection:
1. Define your dating goals: There are so many reasons you may want to date (e.g., friendship, sex, marriage, etc.). When it comes to dating with herpes and potential rejection, it’s important to understand *why* you want to date. Is it one of the above reasons, or is it more connected to seeking acceptance from a partner because of your herpes status? Only you know the answers, and only you can define your dating goals.
2. Be self-aware and self-reflective: Rejection is a common fear among people with herpes. It’s normal that these thoughts and fears creep in, especially because of the stigma. When encountering potential dating partners, offer yourself the opportunity to reflect: “Do I truly like this person?” “is this person in alignment with my dating goals?” Or do I like that they accept me even with herpes? This isn’t an easy realization to arrive at, but it can help you understand your relationship to stigma and how it appears in your dating life and, potentially, your partners.
3. Create a new mantra when rejection appears: Be prepared for the rejection mindset to show up and have a plan. Instead of overthinking about if they’ll reject you, reflect on the possibility of acceptance. What if they say yes? What if they say, “I have it, too.” Considering how common herpes is, this is likely). If you catch yourself falling into fears of rejection, have a statement prepared or a mantra that you can repeat to yourself to remind you of 1) who you are (regardless of your herpes status) and 2) what you’re seeking from potential partners.