Beyond Herpes: The Desire to Be Seen
One of the primary desires of people with herpes is to be seen beyond their infection.
Beyond the odds of transmission. Beyond the statistics. Beyond the antivirals. Beyond the disclosures. Beyond the fear. Beyond the testing and sexual health histories.
To be seen. It’s a concept that is so simple, so universal, yet is so individual to us all. This concept is applicable to other health conditions, jobs, and marginalized populations, too. For example, my recent post that discusses the expectations versus realities of dating sexuality professionals. The people that see us as “sex” rarely (if ever) see us beyond that identity. Or they only see us to a certain point—until they get what they want.
In a year during which we connected solely via social media, texts, and Zoom calls, our connections to one another, and ourselves, shifted. They’re still shifting.
We’re re-learning how to communicate in-person. We’re re-entering a world that’s still in the midst of a pandemic. We might be slow to pick up on body language cues, or stutter as we spill over our hearts in-person to someone we’ve chatted with online with ease.
As we approach and engage in these connections, our sense of what it means to be seen might shift, too. But the thing about being seen, truly seen, is that even if it shifts, even as time moves forward, you tend to know it when you feel it.