How to Set Boundaries After Disclosing Your Herpes Status
We rarely talk about setting boundaries as it relates to someone sharing their herpes status or stories with us. Here are a few ways to set boundaries with friends, family, partners, and your therapist after sharing your herpes status:
Friend Example: “Yeah, I’m angry at X, too. But the more I’ve learned about herpes, the more I understand how much we truly don’t know. I know you’re trying to help me feel better, but publicizing their status won’t help the stigma for any of us.”
Family Example:
“I am happy we have a relationship that I feel comfortable sharing these moments with you. I know you’re close with Aunt X, but can we not talk about herpes at dinner this weekend?”
Partner Example:
“I know you said you’ve accepted the risks around contracting herpes, but I am just not there yet. I don’t know how I would cope if you got herpes from me. Let’s continue using barriers and antivirals for now.”
Therapist Example:
“Thank you for creating a safe space for me to share about my diagnosis and subsequent feelings. I feel like I am kind of talking to a blank wall about this stuff… it would be helpful for me if you could meet me halfway? Can I give you some resources to review?”
These are just examples pulled from my brain. Use them as inspiration when interacting with the characters in your own life. I will continue posting examples for other groups that will (I hope) empower you to set boundaries in your own lives.