Understanding Herpes Transmission: Why Tracing Infections to One Partner Can Be Challenging
Why you might not know who gave you herpes:
Even those who ask to be “tested for everything” have not likely had a herpes test. In the US, the CDC does not recommend herpes in a standard STI screening panel.
Thus, most people 1) do not know their herpes status if they have not experienced presenting symptoms and, 2) do not have a herpes screening history.
Without a herpes screening history, it is difficult to trace herpes to one partner.
Additionally, the herpes virus can lie dormant for a period of time, only to reveal presenting symptoms months or years after the initial transmission. Someone could also mistake their initial outbreak symptoms for something else, leaving them to believe they do not have herpes.
Some people are unaware that cold sores (oral herpes) can transmit to the genitals through oral-to-genital contact.
Due to this lack of knowledge, many do not feel obligated to disclose their herpes status to their partners. This may also result in their subsequent denial of a partner comes back with a positive genital herpes infection, claiming that they don’t have herpes, when in fact, they do.
It is very unlikely (but not impossible) that you will be able to trace your herpes infection to one partner under these circumstances.