Signs You Might Be Intellectualizing Your Herpes Diagnosis
Huge shoutout to @sitwithwhit (aka one of my favorite therapists to follow on IG!) for her insightful post this morning. Combined with what I shared yesterday about the increase in herpes advocates on social media, I wanted to discuss the overlap with intellectualizing one’s diagnosis.
Let me be clear in my belief that, to an extent, most folks with herpes intellectualize their diagnosis. When a provider shares a positive test result (aka the moment of impact), there is a strong desire to gain some sense of control. This often takes place through education and attempts at understanding—since sex ed left much to be desired. Ultimately, I believe intellectualizing one’s herpes diagnosis is a part of the coping and healing process.
With that said, here are a few signs you might be intellectualizing your diagnosis, as a mechanism for avoiding emotions:
• you consume yourself with herpes research and it begins to disrupt your daily routine (research and education are empowering and needed, but do you find yourself distanced from what/who you once enjoyed?)
•Herpes monopolizes conversations with friends, family members, and partners (yes, you’re excited to educate and break stigmas! But we all need time away from subject matter to reflect and grow, too)
•you find yourself tracing steps and partners to when and where you acquired herpes (an overwhelming amount of people just don’t know when they acquired it or who they acquired it from; and to what extent does it matter? What need does it fill? What emotions come up here?)
•you become obsessed with your test results (but what if it’s this? What if it’s a false positive? What if it wasn’t really an outbreak? —sound familiar?)
•instead of sitting with your feelings, you become obsessed with potential symptoms and outbreaks and unanswerable questions (there are a lot of knowns about herpes, but there are just as many unknowns. Oftentimes this obsession is a reflection of anxiety that stems from stigma).