Expectations vs Realities: Dating Someone with Herpes

When @brosandprose and I were chatting this weekend (IRL — still on cloud nine!!) we chatted about our work in this community now versus what seems like way back when. There are so many new people in this space working to break stigmas, whether they are simply someone trying to enlighten their friends or through more professional educational efforts. Five years ago, that wasn’t the case, and it’s truly amazing to see the breakdown of stigma over time—even just through Instagram.

At some point though, this work becomes redundant. What is there left to say? Most of us have shared the statistics, our thoughts, affirmations, dating tips, etc. The community can often be repetitive, which could be healing or triggering depending on where someone is in their processing (advocates and community members alike).

I enjoy the theories and philosophies that I have integrated into this space and will continue to integrate them, but in five years of being in public discussion around herpes and other STIs, and with so many new people, you start to see work being regurgitated. Or uncredited. Or misquoted. And sometimes that is not only frustrating, but exhausting.

I share this to say that I am hopeful that by integrating other areas of my work and various learning experiences into this page, I am able to add refreshed principles to this subject matter and by that extension, your life.

And from that place, stems this post: Expectations of dating someone with herpes versus the realities of dating someone with herpes.

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Signs You Might Be Intellectualizing Your Herpes Diagnosis

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Embracing Change: My Career Shift and What It Means for This Community