You’re Still You After an STI Diagnosis

An STI diagnosis often signifies a reflection point in your identity. This is especially prevalent among infections that are currently incurable.

When I was diagnosed with herpes, I remember being in denial that it could happen to “someone like me.” I was a “good girl,” and I wasn’t someone who had what many know as “casual s*x.” So how did I end up with an STI? Especially one like herpes?

What I later learned is that these statements reflected internalized STI stigma, or the beliefs I had about STIs and people who get them. I learned that much of what I “learned” in health class was myths, misinformation, and scare tactics. I learned that STIs were way more common than I thought, and that the impact of stigma left many people in silence about their experience.

Because of my existing foundation in gender and s*xuality studies, I was further ashamed. Not only did this happen to me, it happened to someone with more understanding and expertise about s*xual health. How could I have failed myself?

If you’ve ever been at this fork in the road, know that you’re not alone. This identity crisis is the direct result of stigma and misinformation.

Once you begin to unlearn and relearn what you should’ve learned in health class (say that three times fast), you’ll be able to see the path—your path—cleared again.

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10 Questions to Ask Before Investing in a Herpes Coach