Life After a Herpes Diagnosis: How My Mindset Changed in 10 Years
“What’s changed since your herpes diagnosis?”
These two images offer a glimpse into my mind on Day 1 following my diagnosis, to now—10 years later.
Day 1: You can see herpes occupied a lot of space in my brain, along with feelings of failure and dating anxiety.
Who will want me now that I have this?
How is this happening to me? I knew better.
You’ll also see how small my goals and dreams and self-confidence were in comparison. My entire identity was defined by my diagnosis, almost instantly.
10 Years Later: Some might be surprised, but I don’t think about herpes in the same way (note how small it is in this image). It’s not a constant thought in my mind that I have it.
If I have an outbreak, it’s not a sign that I’m being punished, it’s a sign that my body is communicating with me.
If I’m researching herpes, it’s not because I’m desperate for information to quell my fears, it’s to better inform and educate.
I’m not anxious about dating with herpes, I’m at peace with it. But I’m not interested in dating right now (for other reasons).
My sense of self is centered, as are my goals and dreams and education and advocacy. You’ll probably note my self-confidence is not as big as some other circles. It’s because I’m still working on rebuilding it after a tough year (but it’s not because of herpes, just being honest where I am).
I don’t wake up and think, “Am I having an outbreak.” I don’t go about my day limiting foods or worrying about what the world thinks of me because of my diagnosis.
Honestly, herpes might be the most boring parts of me. My goal with education and advocacy, is to help you get to this space, too.
You are a wonderful, vibrant person beneath the layers of stigma. I hope one day you can get to this point, too 🫶🏻✨