5 Essential Tips for Confidently Sharing Your Herpes Status with Partners
It’s easy to prioritize the other person’s needs and comfort when you’re sharing your herpes status.
Here are five tips to help you confidently share your herpes status with your partners:
1. Don’t lead with an apology. Leading with words like “sorry” and phrases like “I hate to tell you this…” tells the other person that there is something “bad” or “wrong.” You have nothing to be sorry for just because you have herpes.
2. Do: Ask for their STI status! It’s not just up to you to inform your partners about herpes. Each person has an STI status - whether positive or negative - to share.
3. Don’t answer questions that feel too personal. These can sound like “How did you get herpes?” or “you have herpes? How many people have you slept with?” The only information your partner needs is that you have herpes. You don’t owe them your story - and many of these questions come from a place of judgment, not curiosity.
4. DO share multiple resources. Don’t just throw government websites and statistics at them. Share a multitude of resources from research-backed articles to content from patient advocates and educators (like me!)
5. Don’t assume you’re the only one with an STI. Again, we all have something to share with our partners. You can’t tell that someone has an STI just by looking at them. We need to communicate.