Navigating Herpes: From Stigma to Empowerment
When reading this tweet, your gut reaction might be, “Emily WTF? You have a whole account that focuses on this? How can herpes be boring?”
This tweet feeds directly into my reflections on my word of the year (check the post two posts back that says “complete”). There is only so much to say about the herpes virus itself. What makes it complex and interesting is how the virus advances, informs, and overlaps various attitudes and topics across society. Be it sex education, law, media, public health and policy, relationships, stereotypes, and more.
When we think about herpes as it relates to dating and sex, these topics usually come to mind: disclosure, oral versus genital, HSV-1 versus HSV-2, dating someone without herpes, reducing likelihood of transmission, herpes testing, interpreting symptoms and test results, navigating sex (with self and others) with herpes, diagnosis stories.
Myself and others who have been researching and writing about herpes have covered nearly all of these topics to the extent that research is available.There is only so much to say, and once stated, it easily becomes mundane and repetitive.
For example, many diagnosis stories follow a similar narrative: Symptoms on genitals ➡️ wondering “is it herpes?”➡️denial that it must be something else (ingrown hair, razor burn, etc) ➡️going for testing➡️testing positive for herpes➡️feelings of isolation, denial, and an identity crisis because you’re “not the type of person who gets herpes”
Yes, all stories have their nuances, but the narrative they usually follow results from the stigma of herpes, rather than the symptoms of the virus itself.
This is neither to discount the experiences of those struggling through herpes stigma, nor undervalue the increasing discussions around herpes in the sex ed community. We desperately need more medical and sexuality professionals who are informed about stigma and the impact of a herpes diagnosis; however, in order to create meaningful change and alleviate the effects of stigma, we need to understand how herpes stigma intersects with those other areas—not just dating and sex.