Finding Balance: Compassion and Assertiveness in Creating Change
I’ve never created change by standing (completely) still. I’ve never created change by maintaining my silence in favor of pleasing another’s expectations of the image of who I should be.
While compassionate, active listening plays a part in creating change, it’s not representative of the process as a whole.
As a woman, I was never taught that it was acceptable to be assertive and compassionate. It was either/or, and most of us know how that stereotyped story ended. Traditionally, women are rewarded for being “nice” and self-sacrificing. “Smile more.” Those who choose to assert themselves are seen as angry, bitter, and cold hearted, often referred to as “bitches.”
As someone with great emotional depth and self-awareness, I want to break the gendered norm and offer that we can find balance between compassion and assertiveness, and it’s often this very balance that leads to change.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last two years is how to stand up and advocate for myself across all areas of my life. I never created the changes I desired by being nice. In fact, being nice usually left me feeling disappointed, and, at times, manipulated. I’ve learned, and am still learning, how to balance compassion and assertiveness to create the lasting change I desire within myself and the world around me.