Rejecting Rejection: Understanding Herpes Disclosure and Societal Misconceptions
If you’ve been rejected by someone because of your herpes status—read this.
It’s not you, and it’s not herpes, either.
It’s what sex education teaches students about herpes and what society enforces and perpetuates about those who have it.
Your herpes disclosure is more than just a disclosure; it’s a systemic disruption.
For many, your disclosure may likely be the first time someone (knowingly) encounters herpes outside their sex ed classes or jokes on popular media.
It can be tempting in times of rejection to respond with education, reciting population and transmission statistics and sharing resources that confirm what you already know to be true…
Contracting herpes is not a punishment or a sex and relationship death sentence; it is not an indicator of the quality or type of person you are or the life you lead. It is the result of simply being a sexually actively human.
It is impossible within a disclosure for one person to undo years of misinformation and miseducation, especially when it is still reinforced across much of society.
While rejection due to one’s herpes status can feel disappointing, invalidating, and bring up feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth, remind yourself that YOU are initiating a wave of societal change in sexual and mental health.
Your rejector may never change their mind when it comes to having sex with partner with herpes, but for the first time in their life, they are presented with the notion that herpes is not just something distant in a textbook or a punchline in a movie, it is human.