Breaking the Cycle: Addressing Herpes Stigma and Obsessive Questions
As I slowly work my way back into content creation for the 2021 year, I’m not only noticing familiar patterns, I am able to label them.
Herpes stigma consumes people so much so that questions and answers become a circular and obsessive conversation.
No matter how finite a single answer is, it never seems to be enough. There is always a “but what if...” or “well, maybe...” This isn’t an attack on those who follow or rely upon my work, it’s a product of stigma that I want to bring into the conversation.
As a researcher, I am rarely satisfied with existing research or non-answers (like oh it doesn’t exist yet), which is why I am in pursuit of this for a lifetime. It’s a job. It also shouldn’t be the job or responsibility of the majority of the population that is living with HSV.
Having herpes isn’t equative of being a researcher, though it can feel like that for some. Sometimes an answer really is as simple as what a post speaks to, or what the research entails, or what the current data reveals. Where stigma enters are the “what if’s,” hypotheses, and obsessions that even herpes testing cannot answer (I.e. how it was contracted, when it was contracted, who someone received it from, how many outbreaks someone had or will have, etc.).
The long line of questions that lead us from one to the other, even upon receipt of an answer often need to be disrupted so that we can review the information at hand from a logical perspective, rather than one of obsession.
It’s akin to Googling “headache” and learning of the minute possibility that the headache could be an underlying symptom for impending death. While there are often genuine attempts to better our knowledge in preparation for disclosing to potential partners, many of these questions that lead us down the rabbit hole of HSV research are products of stigma. For some, it can be an addictive cycle with no end in sight.
Formal research may never have all of the answers, even if we expect that it should. Current education will not adequately prepare students for conversations with their partners about navigating HSV. While advocating for more inclusive research, we must continue advocating for acceptance of self.