The Hidden Reality of HSV-2: Why Most People with Genital Herpes Don't Know
90% of those living with genital herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) are unaware that they have the virus. Considering most people’s sex education backgrounds (or lack-thereof), a common response to this statement is always, “How could you NOT know you have it?” We’re presented with so many fear-based tactics that encourage us to avoid sex (aka photos of extreme cases and “scary” symptoms) that most education platforms end up doing more damage to our sexual psyches than meaningful education.
Most people expect those with herpes to have symptoms 24/7 (false) or that their HSV status will be easily discernible when engaging sexually with them (also false). That’s where unlearning and re-education come in:
1. The most common symptom of an STI is no symptom at all. Many of those with HSV are asymptomatic, or mistake their (typically subtle) symptoms for other ailments.
2. If you’re someone who receives regular STI screenings, herpes isn’t included. So you likely do not know your herpes status—even if you have no presenting symptoms. And if you don’t have symptoms, you probably feel that you have no reason to request a herpes screening (and the CDC doesn’t recommend it soooo—which is another lesson entirely). Similarly, you probably don’t suspect that you might even have the virus because you’re not the ~type~ of person to get herpes.
The same sex education that showed you every STI’s list of symptoms and photographs that may still haunt you today, didn’t give you the complete picture. I’d go as far to say that many programs flat out lie to their students, especially about STIs. Which is why so many sexuality professionals often spend more time supporting students through their unlearning, typically into adulthood.
You weren’t taught about STIs, you were taught to see and perpetuate stigma in a sex negative culture. And, no matter how many positions you’ve tried, how open you are, or how many partners you’ve had—if you’re perpetuating stigma, you’re an active participant in the same sex-negative cycle.