Embracing Solitude: Lessons from Quarantine and the Journey to Self-Acceptance
I spend more time with myself than anyone else—and I’m okay with it. I like it. I prefer it. Quarantine and COVID taught me that attitude and appreciation isn’t necessarily the norm. For some, it is greatly feared.
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t want to escape earlier this year. My apartment is my sanctuary. Suddenly, it became my gym, office, graduate classroom, happy hour, yoga studio, spa, hair salon, and more. All of my stress poured into the one space where I recharged myself and found peace.
As things started opening back up in Philly, I noticed the strong desire of others to return to what once was, more specifically to groups, social gatherings, and identities reaffirmed through those hierarchies. The ease of escape quickly became a deterrent from the uncomfortable aspects of the quarantine self.
This feels kismet to share because it’s been about a year since my last (most transformative) heartbreak. The lockdown propelled me into deep mending that I didn’t necessarily know that I still needed. It forced me to confront pieces of myself that I was avoiding. It enlightened me to patterns of my past. It helped me create new boundaries for myself and tools to navigate my uncertainty (hey tarot). It highlighted areas for improvement.
Slowly, I let things go. I wrote out my grief and remaining what-if questions. I burned photos. I released. I freed myself. I accepted my past for what it was and integrated that history into how and who I show up as today.
I bring awareness to this because, intuitively, I feel like we are in a temporary high. A taste of reality before we find ourselves in a similar situation as before—lingering in discomfort with our true selves, pasts, mistakes, life choices, & how they affect our present—especially when in solitude or deep reflection.
Quarantine challenged us all in various ways, whether with partners, children, or as individuals. I’d like to think I learned something about myself, but I’m not so certain that I can say the same for the collective. The world is shifting, there is no known normal. In order to step up & welcome it, we must first show up for and meet our new self.