Understanding STI Stigma: Why Jokes Aren't Harmless
I’ve learned a lot this week about assumptions and communication. One example being that I (generally) assume everyone on my page understands what I mean when I label something as STI stigma. Clearly, my assumptions were incorrect based on some responses that I received yesterday. So this is my best attempt to clarify:
So many people continue to tell me that jokes about STIs don’t matter. I was told to “relax” multiple times.
I don’t find much worth in sharing my story these days because it’s such a repetitive narrative, but I will share it for the purpose of highlighting the experience of STI stigma.
Over 5 years ago, I was diagnosed with an STI. I vividly remember arguing with myself upon the realization that it could be a possibility. Googling all of the things my symptoms could be in an attempt to negate those that existed. Coming up with every excuse in my mind to not have an STI.
That’s stigma.
I remember making the initial appointment. I remember the first doctor’s uncertainty. I remember feeling a bit of relief. “If it were an STI, they would know.”
That negation is stigma.
I remember the next clinic I visited. I remember feeling like a specimen rather than a human. I remember attempting to convince the nurse with my theories & speculation.
That’s stigma.
I remember having whatever lesions were there (I never looked, nor cared to) scraped. I still label that as the worst pain I’ve experienced. Whether that’s physical, emotional, or, more likely, a combination of the two. The moment that the doctor shared an assertion that I likely had an STI, I felt like an other.
That’s stigma.
Now, I see most jokes and simply roll my eyes in ignorance and offer an attempt to educate—because I know the pain they cause. Because I’ve experienced the pain they cause. Because I interact with those who still feel that pain, and who are net yet in a place where they feel comfortable speaking on it.
The next time that you attempt to like/share a joke about STIs, I hope you remember reading this caption. I hope you think of the million people who test positive across the globe each day and are too isolated and ashamed to speak out. I hope you remember my story.