Embracing a Childfree Life: Confronting Social Expectations and Living Authentically
So...you don’t want to have kids. Or you know someone who doesn’t want to have kids.
For many, learning what it means to live life “childfree” is freedom from social expectation. It also means confronting those social expectations in conversations.
“You’ll change your mind.”
“Who will take care of you as you age?”
“That’s a selfish decision.”
“Wow. You must hate kids.”
I can’t tell you how many times people respond to me in this way. Even strangers, notably Uber drivers, find a way to make it known that they disprove of my life decision. Even if they only engaged with me for a 7 minute ride.
In adolescence, I remained uncertain about the decision to have children. I knew I didn’t want them in THAT moment (hey, sexual debut), but I wasn’t sure that I didn’t want them...ever.
In my early 20s, I came across the term “childfree” and began to adopt it into my identity. I don’t want children, and although I do not owe anyone an explanation for why that’s the case, I will share that it’s largely based upon freedom and passion.
I want to wake up and travel if I so desire. I want uninterrupted morning sex. I want to to wake up without a plan and find one along the way. I want to research and create a business and life that I’m proud of.
I want the freedom to live a passionate life on purpose and with intention.
Society presents the idea of the traditional family. In some cultures, childbearing and rearing is expected. For some it might not be an option. We’re not often told that we don’t have to have children to be happy in life. We’re not told that the single aunt we loved at Thanksgiving didn’t have kids because she didn’t want to. Instead were told something is “wrong” or “off” about her life choices.
Whether you are childfree or not. Remember this: Children are not the equivalent to a life well-lived.