How to Advocate for Herpes Testing: Tips for Having "The Talk" with Your Doctor
How do you have “the talk” with your doctor?
Upon requesting a herpes test, some common responses from doctors include:
•Everyone has it
•You’d be better off not knowing
•I’m certain that it’s herpes just by looking at it
•You’re in a monogamous relationship so I don’t think that you need it
The slides of this post offer some transition statements to help you advocate for yourself and your screenings. While these may work with some providers, we all know that there are other factors and biases at play, and that these conversations are often more complex than a simple exchange.
1. I know that herpes testing isn’t mandated, but I want to be informed about my sexual health and help my partners make an informed decision, too.
2. I have been sexually active with a partner who has herpes and would like to check my herpes status. — It might also be helpful to share that you’ve been sexually active with this person for at least 12 weeks (how long it takes for antibodies to develop to herpes).
3. Yes, although most people have herpes, I’d like to find out my status so that I can disclose to my partners.
4. I understand the stigma associated with a positive test result, and I am prepared if I do test positive.
5. I know that you say that my symptoms look herpetic, but I would appreciate if you could proceed with diagnostic testing to confirm.
6. Staying updated about my sexual health is important to me, as is communicating with my sexual partners.